IN LIMBO

Gone are the days of 6-block walks to the beach. Gone are the early morning acai bowls at my favorite, top secret cafe. Gone are the thrice weekly visits to Yoga Co for peace of mind and soul. Gone is the sense of “home” I had finally discovered in Santa Monica. Damn. For the first time in 20 years I felt as though I belonged somewhere, and poof - away I went, again. While I absolutely adore Culver City for the affordability and convenience it brings, I can’t help but miss the perfect sense of feng shui and positive energy that came with living by the ocean.

Here, I’m reluctant to unpack boxes and “permanently arrange furniture” for fear of a repacking that’ll happen all too soon in the future… and because nothing seems to fucking flow no matter where I put it. The frustration is beyond overwhelming. Daily I’m faced with stark white walls that offer no creativity. A moderately sized walk-in closet that never feels big enough, currently curiously resembling an Adidas and Nike shoe battle. (Nike is winning). The roar of cars zooming by my window even in the wee hours of the morning. The somewhat ditsy, randomly inconsiderate, constantly sick roommate. Little to no counter/cabinet space in the kitchen.

The majority of these things are superficial quirks that could be easily changed with a weekend trip to the flea market and a couple DIY projects. Hell, one trip to IKEA could do the trick. But why spend the time/effort/energy/money when “home” just might be across the country in 4 months?

I thought I could do it. I thought I could live out of a suitcase and in limbo before making the cross country trip to New York. But I can’t. My sanity won’t allow me to. Furthermore, my sanity won’t allow me to commit to this cross country move without at least the prospect of a job, a timeline, a road map of all locations to be visited along the way, a serious headway in studying for my GREs and a legitimate farewell to my family up north. Funny… the one thing that was supposedly ‘concrete’ in my plans for 2010 looks to be in limbo too.

… to be continued

“Love is whatever you can still betray … Betrayal can only happen if you love.”

— John LeCarre

take a picture, it'll last longer

Nine days into China and I have yet to grow accustomed to the filth, crazy driving methods and staring. Our family may be the tallest bunch this country has seen outside of Yao Ming and eyeballs follow us like we’re some freakshow circus show. I guess our height coupled with our Western mannerisms make us stand out like sore thumbs everywhere.
I’m not sure if I’m more humbled or saddened by what I’ve seen here in the motherland, but it’s all been a very eye opening experience. 14 days left and four cities left to hit.

on to the next one

I’m so fucking tired of seeing reblogs of Chris Brown, J.Cole, Drake, Weezy, Jay and your favorite cement Jordan III’s on my dashboard. Yeah, it’s my bad for following in the first place and thinking that individuality still exists amongst like-minded individuals but seriously? Half these kids weren’t even BORN when the original Jordan III’s came out!

One of my greatest nightmares is seeing my 11yr old sister turn into one of these conformist blogging fucks who looks at the pictures of half naked girls Terry Richardson shoots and thinks how “original” or “artistic” it is. That, or  being like one of these “rebellious” teenagers who swoon over celebrities that can halfway croon a tune and has more tattoos than years behind their existence. It disgusts the shit out of me to see the next generation put lying, cheating, wifebeating mother fuckers on a pedestal. To validate/substantiate their status and the fact that celebrities don’t need to abide by the same moral codes everyone else does.

Nothing personal to anyone who posts this stuff. To each their own. But from now on I’m leaning my focus toward food Tumblrs, news Tumblrs and friends Tumblrs to refrain from throwing up every time my damn dashboard is refreshed.

For anyone curious, this is my better half filmed at the incredible MADE space in Berlin. I catch myself also smiling whenever I see him smile or laugh in an interview :)

Yes, his accomplishments are amazing. But to know his humility and kindness as an individual is even more awe-inspiring. He keeps me grounded at a point in my life when I need it the most, but have too much pride to ask. For that, I am forever grateful.

I love...

… how you try to make the perfect over medium eggs in the morning but they always seem to break. i love how you put it over the toast to hide it/make the toast soak up the yolk. i love how our hands always find each other, and how we can tell what the other person is thinking by a simple squeeze. i love how honest you’ve made me be with you. hell, i love how honest you’ve made me be with myself. i love that you let me “nap” on roadtrips, even though my naps always turn into hour-long comas. i love that we can switch and neither person bitches about it. i love when you make goofy faces at me even though you think you’re not cute and that i’m laughing at you instead of with you. i love having food babies together and poking at each other until it hurts too much to laugh. i love never feeling like im being judged. i love being scrubby and still knowing that im your princess. i love how safe you make me feel. i love all our inside jokes and secret gossip sessions before bed. i love that you’re the one person i share my incredible life with… and that you share yours with me. i love when you have to take out three computers, a harddrive and records at the security line at the airport and blush in embarrassment ‘cuz the grandma behind you is pissed at how long you need to unpack and repack everything. i love your music. i love that with each passing day and each moment we spend together, i fall more and more in love with you. i love that we can’t bicker for longer than 30 minutes because the silence is too overwhelming. i love that you’re willing to listen to me complain about the smallest things and everytime i ask “am i a bitch?” you’ll indulge me and say “no” with a smile. i love how much you’ve taught me about myself, about the world and about love. i love realizing that there’s infinitely more to learn.

i love you.

… but i hate the distance.

At least half of my “liked” images on Tumblr are of Pharrell Williams. What’s not to like? The man is pretty much physically flawless, has more swag than the entire music industry combined and from what I’ve heard is actually faithful to his girlfriends (GASP!). Actually, that last note alone is enough to elevate him above the rest of the dirtbags our industry in inundated with.

There are few people/celebrities I’d geek out over if I met them in person, but he’s definitely one of them. Stay gold PW.

5 Questions with W+K, The Ad Agency Behind the Old Spice Ads →

Well, damn. I thought Saatchi & Saatchi was the mastermind behind this. W+K definitely just bumped itself up to my #1 choice of larger agencies to work for in NY.

ryanbrown:

3. What’s the most outlandish reaction you guys have had to it?

Well Isaiah and the campaign have been featured on Oprah and Ellen, among others. And during the social media response videos a guy asked the Old Spice man to propose to his girlfriend for him. She said yes. The response overall has been nuts. Apparently we’re now the #1 most popular sponsored YouTube channel in history, more popular than “Twilight.” That’s saying a lot.